Friday, March 2, 2007

If Anna Nicole nuked you, the mushroom cloud would look like a pretty tiara

Aside from the juicy news that a pitiful looking Bobby Brown was apparently bailed out of jail by a radio station (please stop doing crack, Bobby, that thing with your mouth is weird), or the opulent and utterly wasteful Anna-Nicole funeral where family and suitors vie over her corpse for money) did anyone notice that the U.S. just approved a new atomic warhead design to be implemented by Lawrence Livermore and Sandia National Labs?

We don't yet know how much it'll cost, but to give you a sense let's just say that we currently spend over $5 billion a year to maintain the aging mushroom cloud layers we have sitting in torpedo bays and launch silos. I'm going to go out on a limb here...doesn't it seem even a little bit hypocritical that we're telling Iran that it can't play with these wonderful magical toys because they're not mature enough to handle them? Granted, the government there is not pro-U.S., detests Israel, and is quite possibly helping to fund terrorists, but does this strike anyone like a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black?
It's interesting that Dubya recently called Iran and North Korea the new "axis of evil" while John Bolton (former U.S. envoy to the United Nations) said that Iran is "ready for regime change" [note the tone implied in those words: it's like they're a tree that produces sweet juicy fruit, and we need to act fast to harvest] because it's close to being able to enrich its uranium. Speaking of which, are you curious what this means? Here's what enrichment entails.

I'm thankful that Dubya's days are numbered and his administration's days of threat-baiting are almost at a close, but still I wonder if he's going to try and get us committed in another armed maneuver in Iran in order to prevent them from building a functional nuclear device. Hopefully we try diplomacy and sanctions before resorting to the construction of another "coalition of the willing".

So...let's see...North Korea has the bomb (but we're trying to buy them off)...Iran is working on the bomb (don't lie, you know you are)...Israel doesn't (wink-wink) have the bomb, while China, France, Russia, India, Pakistan, and the U.K. all do.Maybe we should just give everyone nuclear know, kinda like when we were in elementary school and the teacher told us we couldn't chew gum in class unless we brought enough to share for everyone? Well this way we could share the fun!

Maybe I'll just apply for the position as Warren Buffet's successor, make tons of money, then blast off to build me a nice moon mansion, and wait for the fireworks. At least then no one will be able to steal my precious bodily fluids.

1 comment:

Zac said...

There's an article in todays CC Times about this. Word on the street is that it's a new tactical H-Bomb. 1st renovation in 20 years. I <3 the Bush admin.