Just this week I was fortunate to find a pale sheath laying in the gutter by my house. It had been raining, and there was something of the non-flora variety of usual detritus in the gutter. On closer inspection it was a spent vessel.
Immediately I knew what that meant: he was back. I don't have clear evidence of who "he" is. It's been theorized that he is a neighbor or one of many johns in a clandestine suburban prostitution ring. I'm a member of the former school of thought, as a certain neighbor around the corner has two sons who are of age, and likely engaging in such activity. Why they choose to do it in (I'm guessing) a car in front of their mom's house is something I can't understand, nor the discarding of such personal material in such close proximity.
My strongest, albeit far-fetched, theory is that he is an alien trying to disseminate his seed via the sewage system, as he is somehow related to Cthulhu. Perhaps it's a pre-emptive strike to mutate us all into above sea level R'lyehians.
Regardless, I'll be installing a motion activated night vision wifi cams in several strategic locations in order to catch the ejaculator in the act of disposing of the evidence in such an un-neighborly manner. Maybe I'll also film the elusive owner of the dog, who is allowed to wander up on my lawn to empty his man-sized, Alpo-powered bowels on my lawn. Jeez, that'd be swell.