Wednesday, February 7, 2007

I'm pitching a new reality show: Nas-saulters

O-Ring Domination?
Face Blasters?
Diaper Rash Race?

I'm still working on the title, but I'm thinking that the story of astronaut Lisa Nowak and the alleged attempted murder of another woman with whom she shared an apparent space-love rival trajectory.

In case you haven't heard, Lisa drove from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers to avoid bathroom stops, and eventually blasted the woman, Colleen Shipman, in the face with her attitude vectors (read: pepper spray) in order to incapacitate her to...put her body in a bag? She's being charged with attempted murder, kidnapping, and diaper rash. The apparent motive was Colleen's involvement with another astronaut, with whom Nowak was involved in an undetermined "relationship". That's what the po-leece are saying.

Anyways, I'm thinking all this attention is bound to attract the whores of Hollywood. I can see producers pitching the show to network executives right now. Picture this:
  • 7 people, selected via a nationally televised event (think American Idol), are judged by a board of current astronauts, celebrities, and therapists - the winners are assigned a number (1 thru 7) go to Space Camp, become qualified astronauts, and go on a mission to the ISS to make videos about their adventures and post them on YouTube;
  • The winning video is selected by the dog who played Airbud, who shoots 7 baskets and the corresponding number of successful shots to the numbered astronaut is the winner! We'll also have a prize awarded to the person who received the most video views.
  • Meanwhile, we'll keep cameras on the space station and air all the hot sex that happens in zero-gee, and watch as fights break out and people get shoved into airlocks and threatened with decompression!

It could happen people. It could! I just need to work out the title...American Orbit? Astro-tryst?

No comments: