Friday, January 26, 2007

Father proves that evolution hasn't reached all homo sapiens

Now this may be a touchy subject, but I'm just going to have to jump right in to this one.

You've heard about global warming, right? Little thing about pollutive emissions trapping solar energy within the biosphere, thus raising surface temperature of the globe? OK. Good. Apparently, Frosty Hardison, a father of 7 residing in the suburbs or Seattle, WA doesn't believe that humans are the cause. The 43-year-old computer consultant is an evangelical Christian who says he believes that a warming planet is "one of the signs" of Jesus Christ's imminent return for Judgment Day.


Any of you ever go to Sunday School or see a religious-based horror film? If not, Judgement Day is the day when God takes the great big escalator down from the sky and swoops all the righteous into his bosom, then sweeps all the trash into the fiery pits of Hell where the devil will poke the non-believers (yes, even tribal rainforest people who've never been exposed to the Word of the Lord) in the ass with his pitchfork that he also uses to toss the hay around...which should actually be burning up on contact in Hell, but I digress.

This father didn't want his daughter to watch "An Inconvenient Truth" in school because he felt it's liberal junk, and feels that people (namely Merkins [read "Americans"]) aren't the cause of global warming.



The snow melting on the mountains of Mt. Kilimanjaro? The melting of ice shelves at the poles? Correlate this to carbon that we, as a global community are emitting? Consider these points and know that it's a fact that Frosty (not for long!) Hardison drives his Hummer from the mailbox to his front door.

[ok, I can't back up this last one on paper]

No, apparently humans haven't done anything to affect global warming. God is just turning up the temperature of the oven to cook all our little faces into poached treats for his angels on which to snack.

The school board has been doing a bang up job at managing the public frustration at the board's decision to force the teacher to not show the film because she didn't follow proper guidelines (getting permission slips, showing alternative views, etc). Excerpts from an article on sfgate describe the situation:

"I am here to foster healing in our community," [school board member David Larson] said, while noting with sadness that "civility and honest discourse are dying in our country."
What the school board had really intended to do, Larson and school board members insisted, was not to stop schools from teaching the science of global warming, but merely to follow long-standing school board rules that require students to be exposed to "other perspectives" when they view a film like "An Inconvenient Truth."

So they want to be able to provide a "balanced" view of global warming, however, views characterized as balanced weren't articulated. Um...that's because everyone with two double AAs in their brain unit knows that there isn't an alternative and valid [read "scientifically sound"] viewpoint for global warming. The world is heating up because of all the toxic poop-vapors we're putting out into the atmosphere.

The article goes onto say:

Before the board meeting started Tuesday night, several residents buttonholed Larson and asked him if there should be a "balanced" presentation of the Nazi Holocaust, because there are many who deny that it occurred.
"The Holocaust happened," Larson said. "We have evidence and photos. The difference between the Holocaust and the global warming is we don't have photos of what will happen 50 years from now."
Sitting in on this conversation was Walls, the seventh-grade science teacher whose class includes Frosty Hardison's daughter.
"We do have photos of snow melting off Kilimanjaro," Walls, the science teacher who was to show the film, said hopefully.

Un. Be. Leeve. A. Bull. This is just my opinion, but if you were really a Christian wouldn't you be less concerned about whether a documentary is shown in your kid's school and more concerned about your responsibility to the Earth, the home that God gave you?

THIS JUST IN! Frosty postulates that he and his 7 children will all live to be somewhere between 500 and 950 years old, just like Noah! Except of course, they'll be living on an ark and will need to wear sunblock 5000 indoors.

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