Show me your privacy...now!

Feel good about your privacy? This recent CNET article highlights how the current administration (read: NSA) exploits loopholes that allows them to profile individuals using the intermediary communication providers between primary service providers.

The massive collection of customer data comes down to the interplay of two specific issues: First, thousands of companies play small, niche support roles in the wireless phone industry, and as such these firms learn quite a bit about the calling habits of millions of U.S. citizens. Second, the laws relating to information sharing and wiretapping specifically regulate companies that provide services to the general public (such as AT&T and Verizon), but they do not cover the firms that provide services to the major carriers or connect communications companies to one other.
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With the passage of laws like the FISA Amendments Act and the USA Patriot Act, in most cases, requests for customer information come with a gag order, forbidding the companies from notifying the public, or the end users whose calling information is being snooped upon.
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So any entity--from tower provider, to a third-party spam filter, to WAP gateway operator to billing to call center customer service--can [...] be compelled to assist in silence. They likely don't volunteer because of reputation and contractual obligations, but they won't resist either.

That means that Jack Bauer may come visit you to administer electro-shock therapy to your nipples should you be selected for profiling, and targeted for...evaluation.

Google forays with a new open-source religion

Bolstered by its continued success in generating billions of ad dollars, strong brand recognition, the creation of an iPhone competitor (based on the Android platform), its forthcoming new browser (with long-term competitors being IE, FF, Safari, and Opera), Google has finally decided to offer its version of theology.

Google's PR department released this statement:

"It's going to be an open-sourced model that allows faith-followers to synergistically strengthen their core beliefs with a ubiquitous de-centralized deity. It's based on the OpenSocial API, which is the foundation for a host of successful web appliances, namely Orkut. We realized that in order to be true to the mantra 'don't be evil', we would need to create a new theological construct in order to legitimize more aggressive revenue-generating advertising models. In addition, we believe that we have something new to offer certain members of various demographics who find themselves removed or disconnected from reality.

As part of an extended development process, our team conducted focus groups with [among others] Second Life denizens, as well as individuals tinkering with cybernetic implants and found that while people enjoy their metaphysical experiences there is a certain degree of spiritual emptiness as we have not yet been able to reduce the human soul to a binary expression, nor digitally quantifying the aforementioned emptiness.

With much experimentation, we discovered as a way to accomplish these tasks, and in doing so, uncovering the means to similarly generate a host appliance capable of monitoring and upgrading soul programs, thereby improving the quality of virtual life. Sergey and Larry dubbed this host: DaemonLord, in a sentimental gesture to a long-lived family of processes well-known in those versed in computer science concepts.

Beta-users of DaemonLord will receive secure access to the development site, and complementary surgery to integrate proprietary mechanisms designed to facilitate the entry into the virtual environment, nicknamed Temple. As the user spends more time in Temple, his or her body would normally atrophy, however Google is committed to maintaining both a healthy body and virtua-soul, so initial testers will be configured with electrical stimulation in order to prevent physical decay.

We plan on maintaining DaemonLord and Temple by the revenue generated by users within the environment, as micro-transactions (similar to papal indulgences) and various implementations of the existing AdSense and AdWords platforms."

Needless to say, there's been some explosive responses from the general user community. Religious leaders have yet to release a formalized comment on the situation, but President Gee-dub did have these questions:

"So...if I snort some of that digitalized nose dust in that there etherland of pagan goodness, will it come up in my pee-pee test that I have to take for Uncle Dick every month?"

...and...

"Does this mean that I can hook up with Sarah Palin in this new-fangled Temple thang? I'm tryin' to talk Laura into a threesome! Man, that Sarah could moose-wrestle me into submission any Temple session!"

Oakland's Project Mayhem

I'd just ported over my blog to wordpress, and have been tinkering with stuff over there, when just today I find that Google has finally put some effort into enhancing Blogger...so I'm going to try it out.



Meanwhile, I came into work today (it's been busy, hence no postings) and found that the 12th St BART Station was closed because of 'police activity'. Normally this means the cops had to lay the beatdown on someone who was acting a fool, but SFGate reports the presence as a result of a 'suspicious device'. Sheriffs, OPD, BART po-leece, and helicopters were in full force. Still, my money's on the real Oakland gangsta pictured at left.



Who dat, you ask? That's Deborah Edgerly. She alledgedly interfered in the police towing her nephew's car, and threatened them to call Internal Affairs, while also warning her nephew about an increased police presence because of his affiliation with his rough riders. Her nephew, rolls with some other thug-lifas in Oakland. What is it with this city? Ron Dellums is sitting in his office, drinking his Ensure, while the city continues to crumble.



If I didn't know better, I'd think Project Mayhem was running afoot in my hood.



Regardless, things are looking good on the horizon, once we can clear the air from all the fires, weather a drought, and squeak through a $5/gal gas summer. Truly, now when you see someone rolling an H3 or some other Earth Destroyer 2009 model, it's textbook conspicuous consumption: I drive this because I can afford the shitty gas mileage...or I'm too dumb to care that the cost to fill the tank rapes my bank account.



But seriously people, the light is at the end of the tunnel...and let's hope it's not another train. We're going to be shedding Bushco, and although we're going to be collectively paying for its mistakes through our lives and possibly the lives of our grandchildren, it'll be better.



It's almost like we had to hit rock-bottom to know what we had to do. How bad could it get? Pretty bad. We had to feel it before we could even be ready for the possibility of Obama. Is he going to take it? I think so. Will he be able to prevent people from thinking a 40oz wrapped in a paper bag is a 'suspicious device' inside the BART terminal? Probably not, but it's a start.

Something just doesn't seem very right here

In light of recent loss of American jobs, a crumbling mortgage market, and increasing costs passed onto consumers, i.e. United's $25 luggage fee there's just something unsettling about a company that posts record annual and quarterly profits for a product that's tied to global warming and our war on terror.

Exxon made $40.6 billion in profit by providing petroleum products in 2007. Annual revenue was at $404.5 billion. This isn't the company's first record-breaking honor, either. They posted $10.49 billion in the third quarter of 2006, the second largest quarterly profit ever posted by a publicly traded American company.

I know we need to continue to suckle from the gas teat a bit more, but when we're facing economic concerns and a country-wide identity crisis, having Exxon stand out as the most profitable entity ever just doesn't seem right. It seems...evil. Our spending on maintaining offense, or rather, defense, is egregiously high, and our penal system is a cash cow.

Why aren't we spending less on prisons and 'defense', and allocating more on beefing up our horribly arcane education systems that consistently fails to produce enough graduates needed for 21st Century jobs...that is unless you're the fortunate handful who come from money (or score a scholarship) and get to enroll at Andover and fast-track your ass to Harvard.

I don't buy the notion that folks who sell dimebags are going to ruin the country. Folks like Skilling and Lay will, though.

I get the laissez-faire capitalist mantra that the market will provide, but there needs to be a measure of equality introduced because the market players aren't concerned about making just enough money...it's about maximizing profits, an approach that places value on products and services that see a faster turnaround. This explains why educators and social workers make pennies compared to a code monkey: efforts spent on people don't always equate to a dollar value unless studied under under a longitudinal lens, while software elicits a *relatively* immediate return of investment.

Why anyone these days gets their Masters or Ph.D in education or social work should be canonized, because it's HIGHLY unlikely they're ever going to make it back. I digress into bitterness...excuse me.

Well...at least Romney's out of the race. Sorry, but his spooky Mormon ass spooked me. Any politician from a religion that's an 'American' brand of Christianity (i.e. Joseph Smith finding lost Golden Plates containing ancient script only decipherable by him and that can't be viewed by anyone) is spooky.

Yep. I'm rooting for the Creationist because, heck, I think the separation of Church and State is downright heretical. You disagree? You must be a minion of Lucifer...
...
Not really.

Super Bowl meet Super Tuesday

So for my money, the best Super Bowl ad (that I saw) was Careerbuilder.com's, 'Follow Your Heart'.

Maybe it's because my recent employment had something to do with it. Being at a certain large non-profit healthcare provider, headquartered in Northern California maybe had something to do with it. If I had to compare my employment history to a chapter in the Star Wars saga, I'd liken my time at Kaiser to those of the rebels in 'Empire Strikes Back'.

Or it could've been that the primaries are tomorrow, and we're going to be rid of this wretched administration, unless Dubya continues with equating war and 'economic stimulus packages'.

The spending package for the fiscal year that begins Oct. 1 contained no big surprises, especially since its key elements had already been reported in detail in recent days. The Pentagon’s proposed budget, for instance, is $515.4 billion, an increase of 7.5 percent over this year, meaning that military spending would be the highest in inflation-adjusted terms since World War II. And the White House’s plans for trimming Medicare and Medicaid have also been previewed.

The NY Times article goes on to say,

At first glance, the outlines of the budget debate appeared to mirror the situation in 2000, when President Clinton was a lame duck, the country was focused on the presidential election and the proposed budget for the next fiscal year was labeled a non-starter before the telephone book-sized budget documents even arrived at the Capitol.

But things were really much different in 2000. There was talk then about what the country would do with all its surplus money, given the booming economy and the demise of the Soviet Union, which was supposed to reduce military spending in the long run.

Then the dot-com bubble burst, heralding a recession. The Sept. 11 attacks touched off new spending for a new kind of war, and the campaigns in Afghanistan and especially Iraq began consuming enormous amounts of money.

The recession that began in the spring of 2000 was relatively short-lived. The current economic slowdown is linked in large part to the housing slump, which many analysts say could have deeper and longer-lasting effects than the dot-com collapse, and could leave the government short of money for a longer time.

I guess if this administration is also akin to that of the Galactic Empire headed by the Emperor and Darth Vader, then I'm glad. This means that next term will be more positive and will garner real change, although I can do without the Ewoks.

At least we'll know that we'll have a President that speaks English and doesn't make a mockery of the office.

Be sure to vote tomorrow! Check your CA county's website to locate your polling station, if you don't know it already.

The ship does not go down with its captain

Let's say I'm the head of a major institution, and as such, I'm ultimately responsible for the actions of my staff/supporters/minions (think Enron's Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling). Let's further hypothesize that I was being tried for destroying electronic records...in fact...let me restate that...let's say there were rumblings of a suit being brought against me, so in anticipation of such action I went ahead and destroyed the files. Of course, I probably had some kind of 'legitimate' reason to excuse the destruction of these files - whoops! Sorry! I was just following industry best practices...what's that over there? LOOK OUT! Killer terrorists! Threat level omega-seven-polka-dot-bravo!

I'm getting ahead of myself...

You'd think I was reprehensible, correct? You'd think I was sneaky and conniving, right? You'd think that I thought I was above the law by doing such a thing. You'd think that I should be brought to justice and made accountable for my actions, even though I might not have personally put the papers into the shredders, right? After all, even though I might possess 'plausible deniability', the fact that I run the ship should make me responsible, or are we saying that the laws in the country don't apply to me. Yes, I think that's what we're saying.
At least that seems to be the reasoning behind the latest American freedom-'n-democracy ass-raping fiasco perpetrated by the White House. WTF!?

WASHINGTON -- The White House acknowledges recycling backup computer tapes of e-mail, a practice that may have wiped out many electronic messages from the early years of the Bush administration, including some pertaining to the CIA leak case.

The disclosure about recycled backup tapes came minutes before midnight Tuesday under a court-ordered deadline that forced the White House to reveal information it previously had refused to provide.

Before October 2003, the White House recycled its backup tapes "consistent with industry best practices," according to a sworn statement by a White House aide. The White House started preserving backup tapes in October 2003, which would have been shortly after the start of the probe into who outed CIA operative Valerie Plame in July of that year.

The backup tapes, which also contain electronic documents in addition to e-mail, are the last line of defense for saving electronic records.
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Mr. Fratto, the White House spokesman, said that "there is no basis to say that the White House has destroyed any evidence or engaged in any misconduct."

No basis...hmm...I'm reasoning those words were used because it hasn't been proven that anything was 'destroyed', at least in the linguistically accurate perception of the word. I imagine it was just serendipitous that the 'recycling' of the tapes occurred just before a court-order demanding said 'recycled' tapes be turned over.

You know what? I am sick to death of this administration. It's not that it's Republican. There are plenty of great Republicans out there. I heart Republicans. I'm sick of this administration's stomping on the vestiges of our integrity. I'm tired of blowing taxpayer dollars on issues that don't benefit the nation, when we're in the middle of a mortgage collapse and financial institutions are recording record losses (from over a 100 year period) and when our educational system is stuck in the 1950s and when we can't seem to produce enough effective domestic college graduates. I'm sick of the lies and false-truths and truthery and strategery and the fact that the President of the effing United States of America sounds like a g-d idiot when he opens that effing hole in his face. STFU Dubya.
While the bar for Presidential approval has been lowered tremendously, and we're on the brink of electing a new President, and although I'm optimistic about the future, I think we need to expect more from our elected officials, and insist on running a government that's less focused on infiltrating and more cognizant about stabilizing and scaling global socio-economic growth. Just a thought. Just throwing it out there, cuz, y'know...things are pretty crappy right now. Never hurts to dream, right? Obama anyone? The whole 'audacity of hope' notion is very appealing compared to the scary faith infused dogmas of Huck or baseball Mitt. It's like the GOP reasoned with all the instability in the Middle East, which this administration helped fuel (btw), the U.S. needs to further polarize itself and become more militaristic and ethno/faith-centric, so they unleash Huckabee and Romney.

[ending soapbox transmission now]

This is just too 'low hanging fruit'

What will we do for humor when Bush and Cheney are banished to the Phantom Zone come 2008?

There was a fire today in the Executive Office Building directly across the street from the White House. Dark black smoke was seen billowing out of the front.

I've actually been in this building. It used to be the offices for the State, War, and Navy Departments, and now houses the Office of Management and Budget and staff of the National Security Council and other agencies.

VP Cheney has a 'ceremonial office' in the building.

Ahem. Take a deep breath...just savor it.

AP reporters indicated that the room was cloaked in heavy black curtains, allowing complete and total darkness, save from that of the infernal sulphuric glow from the gaping portal to Hell, which just happens to occupy most of the floor in front of the VP's desk. Staffers referred to the office as 'ceremonial' because, as one anonymous source indicated, "he likes to make his sacrifices to his Dark Lord away from the White House...you know...the whole 'don't sh*t where you eat' thing."

Cheney was located in the West Wing of the White House, and so was unharmed by unexpected blaze, which apparently resulted from the smoking remnants of a recent offering. Fire officials reported seeing several scurrying eight legged creatures crawling the utterly colorless drapes and leaving burning patches of velvet in their collective wake.

When contacted, Cheney asked the fire officials to put him on speakerphone so he could recite arcane commands derisive of Yog-Sothothery, with which to banish the nefarious critters.

White House officials were quick to engage in damage control and released this activity designed to inform Americans on the true identity of their 'elected' official.

It's the villain that makes the tale

Everyone remembers Darth Vader. Dr. Hannibal Lecter. The Alien (from the eponymous 'Alien'). Gary Oldman's character, 'DEA Agent Norman Stansfield', from 'The Professional' ('Leon' in some circles). Samara from the more current 'The Ring'.

Jeffrey Skilling. Jeffrey Dahmer...hmmm...2 Jeffs? Coinkydink? I think not.

Where was I...oh yeah. Villains. They seem to be slightly more of a compelling draw to a film. You want to see how bad they can be because eventually you know that they are sooo gonna get their comeuppance. Karma baby. It's gonna get that hand chopped off by your son, Darth! Lecter, you're going to have to hacksaw your hand off. Alien...Signourey's got a grapple gun and an airlock with your screechy name on it.

I could go on, so I will: Norman...there's a big explosion and a very bright light about to bloom in your face in the near future. Samara...get a haircut.
The recent book I read at the recommendation of a friend, presented another memorable villain, who is about to be brought to life on the silver screen. The Coen Brothers (of 'Blood Simple', 'Fargo', 'The Hudsucker Proxy', and 'Miller's Crossing' just to name a few), have recently presented 'No Country for Old Men' at several film festivals this year. The movie is based from a novel penned by Cormac McCarthy. In the words of Troy McClure, you may remember him from such other novels as Blood Meridian and The Road.

'Country' probably wasn't going to be a book I'd pick up on my own venture, but I'm glad I did. Basically it's a hide-and-seek crime-thriller, punctuated by a main character's 'what's in a life/let's reclaim our humanity' interludes. A guy finds dead guys and drug money, who, of course takes it, and has to skedaddle 'for the lawmen and killers track him down.

As you can see from the preview, the villain, Chigurh, is one bad guy. He has no fear, and no compunctions about how he mows through lives. If this dude walks into your Starbucks, it's bad for everyone around. He uses a captive bolt pistol (used to stun cattle) to dispatch folks and disable lock cylinders to gain entry.

I don't want to spoil it for you, in case you see the film or read the book, so I won't say much about what happens. I'll just close this in saying that you'll remember Chigurh as the perfect personification of utter evil and vile human nature.

Then think about the current executive administration in D.C. and know that Chigurh is fiction, and [with no semblance of hyperbole] that the Bush dictatorship (abuse of executive power, lying to taxpayers, and general moral hypocrisy exercised on a daily basis just to name a few highlights) will be remembered as one of the darkest times in American history.

Reclaim our humanity indeed.

Pod People have reached maturity and are coming your way

New terms thanks to our elected officials:
Poulting: The act of political moulting...or perhaps

Coulting: The mindless hate spew emanating from the skanky neo-con death's head, Ann Coulter? Or maybe it could mean Sen. Craig having to step down as a result of Bathroom-gate.

Craiging: Meeting in the bathroom for hot man-Brad action initiated by doing a Fred Astaire footloose with your intended target

Autumn years:
Whether it's because folks know that it's time to throw in the towel on a soon-to-be lame duck President, his cadre is leaving for greener pastures. No doubt Karl Rove, Tony Snow, Harriet Miers, Alberto Gonzalez, and possibly Craigster will soon be raking in buckets of ducats in book deals and speaker fees, assuming they aren't skewered with a subpoena. Does executive privilege extend to lowly common citizens who foot the taxbill?

Regardless, don't expect Cheney to step down. DARPA has constructed a special exoskeleton into which they will pour liquefied Cheney once doctors deem him unable to continue his job in his current soft, flabby form (being a Dark Lord takes a toll on the body). The model comes installed with a special facial engine which exhibits scowls and hateful expressions taken from the Dark Lord himself. It has a special leg holster for a double-barrel shotgun, a la RoboCop, which allows him to draw down on unsuspecting gay babies. The buckshot is comprised of the teeth of Iraqi civilians killed since Operation Iraqi Freedom commenced. When he pulls the weapon from its concealed location a metallic voice calls out "fuck off" or "go fuck yourself" a la his comments made on the Senate floor in reference to Sen. Leahy.

What a nice way to wake up

To find that Turdblossom is leaving his role as senior chief architect of evil domination is such a nice way to wake up. That's right, Karl Rove is stepping down from the side of Dubya as his political strategist at the end of this month.

Insiders report that Satan requested from Dubya that he relinquish Rove for some work he needs done on the behalf of the Sudanese government in their efforts to exterminate the country's population of non-Arab Africans. Mephistopheles said that while he was proud of the work Rove did in the White House, but he needed his talents focused elsewhere on more "core" evil deeds.

Rove and Bush will undergo a medical procedure to remove the cranial surgical grafts between the two. Experts are certain Rove will be able go about his normal daily life stabbing angels in their eyes, raping truth and justice, and other delectables of unsavory and general nefarious behavior.

Cheney will be playing D-H in Rove's absence for Dubya in order to maintain a level of malodorous edicts that the public has come to associate with with most contemporary issuances from the Executive branch.

Prez Dick Cheney...Dick Boom?

Quite possible the most disturbing fact of Dubya's recent surgery was the fact that during the time of his medically-induced unconsciousness where doctors removed polyps from his colon (they were really lumps of Playdoh he ate, thinking they were dumplings) Cheney assumed the role of President of 'Merka.

I totally neglected to note this, but Mark Morford from SFGate.com did not. Oh man is his piece good.

Highlights:

While most Americans were completely unaware that the temporary transfer had taken place, the response from the collective body was nevertheless nearly instantaneous, as millions across the nation reported feeling some sort of unnerving wave of dread, something dark and ominous and stifling, like a collective shudder, a giant musty pillow jammed over the mouth of life itself, a great, low moan of deep, chthonic pain.

The stories were as shocking as they were, you know, titillating. "We were totally having wicked sex in the tailgate of my Subie," said Brandon "Bran Flakes" Zander, 22, a surfer from Redondo Beach, sitting next to his "smokin' hot" girlfriend, Amber, 19. "When all of a sudden, right in the middle of the good s--, boom, everything sorta went limp, you know? Like some dude yanked the plug from the love toaster, right? We just sorta look at each other like, WTF? We decided to fire up a spliff and wait it out."

"Two little words," said Dr. Alan Lenner of the Phenomenology Research Institute in Bethesda, MD, glancing around nervously as if his next utterance would cause lightning to strike him dead. 'President Cheney,'" he whispered. At that exact moment, a woman's terrible scream could be heard in the distance, a pack of wolves howled, and once again that long, low moan reverberated throughout the land. No, seriously, it totally did.

I don't want to spoil it for you. Check out the whole thing. It's brilliantly sculpted, and makes you feel better about living in a country where civil liberty and political integrity have been sacrificed on the altar of totalitarianist-driven profit. We've got a considerable bunker of evil hawks nesting in D.C., and we'll need to clean up their guano come election time.

I don't so much care if the new resident of the White House is DEM or GOP, just that he or she doesn't waste time on saving face for the previous occupant, doesn't point fingers (we all know where they're going to be pointed at), and just starts rebuilding this country's political, moral capital. We've got a new century to explore, and some serious housekeeping to do before we get down to business.

To the dictator go the spoils...

I'm going out on a limb here, but I see some strange similarities between the Bush administration and an evil dictatorship...or at least the now defunct Soviet Union.

I keep thinking of the Mikhail Baryshnikov/Gregory Hines (RIP) vehicle, "White Nights", for some reason...did you ever see that one? It's a classic. Male dancers, one American (an expatriate living in the C.C.C.P.) and a Russian (looking to flee Communist rule) who get tangled in a web of U.S vs. U.S.S.R. intrigue: all of this set upon Phil Collins and Lionel Richie theme songs. The movie basically depicted how the Cold War impacted these two people, with a common passion, but with divergent political views. The movie illustrated how wonderful the U.S. was, and how evil and oppressive the Soviet Union was. You felt good at the end when one of the dancers, who was held captive by the Soviets after the other successfully escaped, was eventually traded back to the U.S. in exchange for some KGB-type. You felt good about it: the U.S. seemed like a moral, thoughtful, courageous, and responsible nation.

Fast forward to the the 21st century and smell the stink rising from the swamp in D.C. The Rove-Cheney Death Star duo out undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame because her husband, a U.S. Ambassador, makes critical [and valid] remarks of the Bush administration, and eventually the heat falls on Scooter Libby, who takes the fall, who gets sentenced, then gets his sentenced commuted by Dubya because he feels that the punishment was excessive...

(note that during this process Dubya is a complete tofu-brained, spineless puppet with two pairs of hands up his ass moving his mouth and helping sound out those big two-syllable words)

Excessive? Didn't anyone see "Mission Impossible" with my most favorite actor Tom Cruise, whom I totally heart in all his Scientologist goodness? Remember the severity of having the potential sale of a list of all undercover agents fall to the highest bidder? Wasn't that threatening to think that all these faceless people doing black-ops, off-the-books, counter-intel, mole-type activities on the behalf of the United States government were about to have their covert and given names made available to folks like Al-Queda? Hyperbole aside, well...there's really not much to hyperbolize when you see this administration's track record. Didn't Bush once pride himself in being a believer in rough justice? I guess it only counts if you're poor or otherwise marginalized.

Apparently if you're part of the internal U.S. power structure, you're exempt from such phony-baloney nonsense, and can out a CIA operative who's married to someone who says something portraying the government in a less than popular light and who's invested more in this country's security than some spoiled, brainless, tool. Honestly, I could care less about Libby...I'd like to see Turd-Blossom, ol' no-soul Cheney, and tool shed extraordinaire Dubya: the Unholy Trinity: see some justice for this act.

I'm rendered utterly flabbergasted and discombobulated. The sheer hypocrisy and evil empire undertones permeate every statement I could contemplate. Is this "justice" or "just us": meaning, if you're not of the inner circle, then you're common cannon fodder?

I'm astounded when I think of the energy and time it will take us as a nation to mend the wounds this single administration has inflicted upon the world, and as an American, upon my country. They're making the American soldier and civilian look like a bunch of worthless blood-soaked tools eternally stained with their lies and insanity.

If you're a devout conservative and could give a isht about my "liberal" ramblings, just think about how many taxpayers dollars went into the toilet so that this scapegoat could be exonerated, when the real evil-doers go free. For all we know, maybe the cost of this nonsense could've translated into a few thousand more Kevlar vests or adequate armor, or ammunition, or food and medical supplies...but I guess it's more important to have lying, killing, and general evil dictatorship-type behavior cemented into the American fabric because it's this administration's final legacy laid upon the altar of time. Amen.

And none of the irony of this farce falling so close to our Independence Day is lost on me. Not even Roland Emmerich could make this administration look good. I'd be completely happy with Bill Pullman for President, though.

It's official...this is as bad as it's ever been

Did you hear that Cheney made the claim that he's not a member of the Executive Branch, so he doesn't need to abide by the rules that the Founding Fathers stipulated.

...

What? Am I taking crazy pills? Why is this okay and is it election time yet? If he's not quite Executive and not quite Legislative, does that mean we can expel for being a deliberate lame-tard poo-puppet bass-turd? Doesn't this set off a big blip on your basic right/wrong radar that we had instilled at birth? Is Cheney's not working properly? Oh wait...that's right...he's an evil soulless robot constructed for the sole purpose to drag this great nation into the dirt! Ha! I feel sooo much better now!

Hopefully the next President to take office makes an effort to show the American people what kind of dastardly deeds this evil toolshed purported while in office as Vice President.

This guy's sense of entitlement at the expense of others is astounding. Can he and I go duck hunting soon?

The big stem cell in the sky

Let's recap a life (points summarized from an AP article):

• His father and his grandfather were militant atheists, he wrote in his autobiography. He said his father made a fortune off his businesses — including bootlegging during Prohibition. [cool!]
• As a student, he was a star athlete and a prankster who was barred from giving his high school valedictorian's speech after he was caught using counterfeit lunch tickets his senior year. [shocking behavior! what a cad!]
• He ran with a gang of juvenile delinquents before becoming a born-again Christian at age 19. [you little rapscallion!]
• He turned down an offer to play professional baseball and transferred from Lynchburg College to Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Mo.
• The fundamentalist church he started in an abandoned bottling plant in 1956 grew into a religious empire that included the 22,000-member Thomas Road Baptist Church, the "Old Time Gospel Hour" carried on television stations around the country and 7,700-student Liberty University, which began as Lynchburg Baptist College in 1971.
• He had once opposed mixing preaching with politics, but he changed his view and in 1979, founded the Moral Majority. The political lobbying organization grew to 6.5 million members and raised $69 million as it supported conservative politicians and campaigned against abortion, homosexuality, pornography and bans on school prayer. [good for you - making Momma proud!]
• In 1983, U.S. News & World Report named him one of 25 most influential people in America. [wow! America must be scary!]
• In 1984, he sued Hustler magazine for $45 million, charging that he was libeled by an ad parody depicting him as an incestuous drunkard. A federal jury found the fake ad did not libel him, but awarded him $200,000 for emotional distress. That verdict was overturned, however, in a landmark 1988 U.S. Supreme Court decision that held that even pornographic spoofs about a public figure enjoy First Amendment protection. [damn liberal court system!]
• In 1987, he took over the PTL (Praise the Lord) ministry in South Carolina after Jim Bakker's troubles. he slid fully clothed down a theme park water slide after donors met his fund-raising goal to help rescue the rival ministry. He gave it up seven months later after learning the depth of PTL's financial problems. Largely because of the Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart scandals, donations to his ministry dropped from $135 million in 1986 to less than $100 million the following year. Hundreds of workers were laid off and viewers of his television show dwindled. [awww...poor Bakker and Swaggert gettin' caught swindlin' all them poor folks...I'll take over your racket!]
• He quit the Moral Majority in 1987, saying he was tired of being "a lightning rod" and wanted to devote his time to his ministry and Liberty University. But he remained outspoken and continued to draw criticism for his remarks. ['cause he couldn't shut up...even when he tried, it just made it worse!]
• In 1999, he told an evangelical conference that the Antichrist was a male Jew who was probably already alive. He later apologized for the remark but not for holding the belief. [see above]
• A month later, his National Liberty Journal warned parents that Tinky Winky, a purple, purse-toting character on television's "Teletubbies" show, was a gay role model and morally damaging to children. [what did I say]
• Days after Sept. 11, 2001, he essentially blamed feminists, gays, lesbians and liberal groups for bringing on the terrorist attacks. He later apologized. [what? space aliens aren't fault?!]

Who is he? Well, if you didn't already peep the link above, you'd know he was Jerry Falwell. His actions speak to his...eccentricity? insanity? After looking at how he started to wrap up his role as moral commentator, I bet the world must've been a scary and unfamiliar place. It's a good thing that surgery and arterial stents are ethical, moral, and biblical, otherwise he might not have been around to see the ball drop in 2006. Thanks for the lessons, Jer. Now we know what NOT to do.

As a minor digression, it's interesting how the word "fundamental" was used to describe certain Christian groups like Falwell's Moral Majority. It basically inferred that they were a large group of voters who don't tolerate gays, non-white folks, people who don't think like members of a like cult...in my opinion. Now it's a word getting some negative press because of certain "fundamentalist" Islamic groups. And while many Islamic states have historically shared a hybrid church-state government, throw in the trend of American government getting to home base with our Puritanical roots, and we have a wonderful little board game of Risk all laid out for us. Thanks for helping making the world a more polarized place, Jer!

It's so sweet. These two factions wanting to destroy a global community and eliminate all non-believers...I'm sure it's just what Jesus and Mohammed had in mind.

Speaking of mind and coherent thought, I also wonder what Jerry and the Moral Majority would've done when had Reagan was in office and been grossly afflicted with Alzheimer's...would Ron and Nancy still find their support from Jerry's mob? For that matter, what did Jerry think about Dick Cheney's daughter, who happens to be a lesbian? Did that create a dilemma for him? Maybe he shorted out like so many AIs on Star Trek, where Capt. Kirk always "out-logicked" an alien supercomputer.

Speaking of supercomputers, I'm sure Kurt Vonnegut is staring down at from his celestial Tralfamadorian vessel and chuckling as ol' Jer is being stewed in order to make tallow for candles for the kids being served by the World Bank.

For more Jerry related material, check out the plethora of video material readily available on Youtube. I recommend the Pat Robertson-Jerry Falwell make out *parody* from Family Guy.

It just came to me: Rover is Grima Wormtongue

It sure seems that if you're in good with the Rover, then your seat on the Dark Council of Mordor in the Land of Shadow is assured. Yes. This country is currently helmed by the baddest...the evilest...give it up for...The Triumvirate of Terror newly cast in the Broadway play: Evil is as Evil Does! Yay! Actually we're still working on the title. Maybe instead of Evil is as Evil Does, we could call it Justice-Gate.

Starring:
Rove as Grima Wormtongue
Cheney as Saruman
Dubya as the Mouth of Sauron

Produced by: Your tax dollars
Directed by: Sauron

[Grima? Mordor? Land of Shadow? Please consult your library and check out the epic novel written by J. R. R. Tolkien., or at the very least watch the three films directed by Peter Jackson]

The production initiates in media res during the U.S. Attorney General - White House debacle. Federal prosecutors are dismissed because of "performance-related issues", when really it's become clear that some were being swept out of the way for the hordes of Dark Lord to take their place. As a result, the Justice Department reluctantly responds by dropping Ent-bombs on the White House, by releasing more than 3,000 emails to the House Judiciary Committee. The emails detail the correspondence related to the dismissal of the prosecutors and of the political climate within the agency.

Contained within the emails are rumblings of USAs (United States Attorney) being removed from office as they don't push the Sauron agenda, and being replaced by others who do. In addition, it's been suggested that these new Uruk Hai would replace the dismissed USAs WITHOUT SENATE APPROVAL. Yes, we live in America, and No this is not how things should be done by those in charge of maintaining the public welfare...unless of course, you live in Mordor.

Here's a little bit of lembas to whet your appetite:

Mr. Gonzales believed that the prosecutor, H. E. Cummins III, the United States attorney for Arkansas, was dismissed for performance reasons, the e-mail suggested. But his deputy, Paul J. McNulty, testified that Mr. Cummins had been replaced to create a vacancy for J. Timothy Griffin, a political ally of the White House political adviser, Karl Rove...

...Patrick J. Fitzgerald, the United States attorney in Chicago who recently led the successful prosecution of I. Lewis Libby Jr., who was a top aide to Vice President Dick Cheney, was on a list of prosecutors whose performance was ranked as “not distinguished” on a list Mr. Sampson (D. Kyle Sampson, then Mr. Gonzales’s chief of staff) sent to the White House in March 2005, Justice Department officials say.
NY Times

Want more details? Check out all the emails on the House Judiciary site. They're still posting them as pdfs.

All Tolkien aside, this is a matter of the leadership of this country needs to address. This kind of behavior is accepted because the President and his administration tolerate and nurture it. It's time that the Democrats exercise some of the benefits of being the majority in both House and Senate, and start responding to their constituents. That is, of course, unless Sauron has promised our representatives each their very own Ring of Power...