For Chrismachannukwanzaa I Want...

...a water heater blanket and a programmable thermostat. These are just a couple things that can help cut energy costs as well as help reduce CO2 emissions. At least that's part of the message discussed on a recent Oprah show.

GROAN, you say? Okay, I'm not the biggest fan of Oprah and the Dr. Phil machine either - all that "follow your mothership" tripe makes me grow a big rubbery one, but the woman does use her fame and name to promote positivity, which is something to respect.

People often say that they care about the environment, and education, and crime, but at the end of the day we see a lot of apathy and indifference, or general NIMBY reactions. There are some minor things that each of us can do in order to make the world a better place. Being a good parent and role model is one - I stopped beating children and smoking a crack pipe in front of my son, so that's something - but you can also do a lot more around the house. This winter season, try not to burn wood. Yes, running the heater may be a bit more expensive, at some point there's some concessions and compromises we're going to need to make between Earth and ourselves, lest we continue to hasten global warming, coastal flooding, and general hurricane destruction.

At one point it was Dull or Dumb, but Al Gore has made some leaps and bounds by bringing the issue of global warming, and potential solutions to the forefront of the national attention. Sure it may be a ploy to generate political capital, but at least it doesn't involve sending your sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, mothers, or fathers to a desert in which they have to be on the constant look-out for IEDs and snipers.

Speaking of gore and Oprah...recent footage (well not that recent) revealed that Tom Cruise attacked Oprah on her show, which was the main reason why she didn't go to the wedding. It seems that once you become OT-7, you effectively lose your mind and gain evil Dark Lord powers. Look out Tom, all we need to do is get you on the terror list, and we'll have Dubya ship you off to Egypt where we can torture you in order to get all your powerful Scientology secrets.