Monday, August 4, 2008

You had me at spoof

'I got to roll around with Kim'. Why did I check out this interview? Why did this warrant an interview? This has got to be the most painful thing ever to watch. It's not like either of the 'stars' from the new film, 'Disaster Movie', are all that compelling...aside from the obvious eye candy. Carmen Electra looks like her face has been martinized by gothic surfers who think bad CGI is a kind of art in unto itself, and Kim Kardashian looks like when she's not enjoying the $5 million settlement from Vivid Entertainment for her 'leaked' sex tape with Ray Jay she's busy practicing eyelash batting in the mirror.

Of course, stating this I might bring the entire Armenian mob on my head, but what the hell did she do to warrant the hype? A sex video. Playboy pictures. Mmm-kay.

The Interweb Cybertown electro-question alone reveals that 'news' on her is relegated to the gossip columns, and a hard to find Larry King interview about said movie and pictures.

Granted every 13 year old boy will be attending the film in hopes of seeing a stray nipple missed by censors, and I understand that there's the degree of hotness there, but what's with the fascination on people who are famous solely for being hot and leaking a sex tape that at some point your brother, cousin, or cubemate downloads and says 'DUDE! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS CHIC!'? Are we that bored? Kathy Hilton doesn't think so.
The burdens of ruling on high on Olympus run such a blade of apathy in a man's heart...

O Caesar...don't sweat are the man!

Caesar: My subjects number in the millions, offer their tribute, and yet, I find them to be nothing more than a band of degenerate, slack-jawed yokels lusting for decrepit entertainment

O Caesar...shall you offer them games and scantily clad maidens and man-brads with which to give their base yearning means to succor?

Make it so...and be certain to retain the finest maiden and score of man-brads for grows so weary on Olympus...
I shouldn't be so surprised, after all, the true purpose of DARPA was to create a more effective porn vector. Gentleman...I salute you and your success: the internets!

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