Casting call for White House documentary

OK, so I'm not the biggest personal fan of Woody Allen. Had the whole adopted daughter turned spouse thing occurred with yours truly, there would have been court cases, Homeland Security investigations and the Moral Police aka Christian Coalition backed by Dubya's stumbling rhetoric condemning me for my debase nature.

That being said, I think that if there was ever a comedic take on what a documentary of Dubya's life might be, there should be a scene reminiscent of Allen's "Crimes and Misdemeanors". Never saw it? Well, this is the scene. Let your imagination run loose and replace Alan Alda character's take on his brilliant sense of humor with Dubya's "War on Terror" blathering.

Or you can just follow the "news" about Paris' DUI or Lindsey's bout with grab-assin' and partying, and not pay any attention to the fact that Exxon is consistently making RECORD quarterly earnings during a time when prices at the pumps are the highest they've been since...ever...and I remember the oil embargo of the 70s when my pops and I would have to wait in line to buy gas at the station, assuming the green flag was up...or you and I can start becoming more conscious about the issues impacting our town, state, nation, and world.

Trust me, I support our troops and our country. I just don't support their Commander-in-Chief. The 1 to 10-year-olds of today will be paying for our actions in the Middle East, and I'm betting that most of them don't have robust holdings in energy or defense shares. If we want to focus on a legacy for our nation's children, then let's not burden them with the aftermath resulting from the stagnant, fetid mindset of a hawkish minority who cling to a dusty model with their bloodless hands, crimped in hate, fear, and intolerance.

The soldiers in-country are fighting to win hearts and minds, but the current administration's directive that sent them there isn't focused on liberation of oppressed people, rather it's the appropriation of a nascent petroleum resource and the desire to keep a sustained American presence in a region where untapped oil fields will fatten the coffers of majority shareholders...and keep GM afloat. Don't get me wrong, I've got a 401k just like anyone else fortunate enough to have such an opportunity, but for me there's a disconnect between a 5 year vesting period and Exxon's $39.5 billion dollars in profits while worker bees in blue and white collar shirts pay upwards of $3.50 for a tank of gas. If you have a Hummer, I hope you love that gas sucking turd more than your mortgage or monthly rent.

We're a global community. The sooner America leverages its position in this new arena, the sooner we can reestablish ourselves as innovators and healers: real power brokers.

You want to make a short term impact? Here are my sophomoric thoughts...

1. Take public transportation (you're not a communist if you do)
2. Drive less (you don't need to floss every night on the strip to parley your spinner dubs)
3. Patronize local merchants who sell goods from nearby growers (there's less fuel consumed in shipping)
4. Read more (this includes books, magazines, and other offline source of information), as a smart populace is better positioned to have elected officials serve us, and not vice versa.

Newt G: stupid, lying, hypocritical, conservative favorite

Poetic justice. When it strikes, it's sweet yet savory.

Remember the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal? You know, where we spent millions of our tax dollars investigating President Clinton because he lied about getting a blowjob from an intern (by the way - not a big deal)? The one where Newt Gingrich himself threw down the gauntlet of "American family values" by making the Contract with America? Well, recently G-funk admitted that he was having an extra-marital affair while fanning the flames of investigation on Clinton's behavior.

Oh, that's sooo rich. The irony and hypocrisy are thick like the sludge in Cheney's circulatory system. Eff you, Newt. Don't try even try to spin this one. You're full of poo and smell like it too. In retrospect I didn't say enough critical things about you.

Interestingly enough, ol' Newt dawg is also still very popular with Republican conservatives. Um. Is something not clicking with these people? Would you still vote for this guy in 2008, as he might be a potential candidate? This is the same guy who indirectly blamed Americans in Louisiana for their own plight during Hurricane Katrina:

How can you have the mess we have in New Orleans, and not have had deep investigations of the federal government, the state government, the city government, and the failure of citizenship in the Ninth Ward, where 22,000 people were so uneducated and so unprepared, they literally couldn’t get out of the way of a hurricane.

Don't want to read the whole article? Well, here's the video. Good job, Newt. Smile for the camera, you bigoted, ignorant, racist stink-monkey. I love to watch you crashing and burning.