Mysterious Barack UK Underground ads

During a recent trip abroad to the UK, we took the tube (totally kicks BART's ass) and saw a series of billboards at various Underground stations.

One that generated the most curiosity was one of Barack Obama in front of 10 Downing Street given that our English cousins aren't casting any ballots.

I just learned that the ads were all part of a campaign launched by The Times. Tricky Brits.

Hi! I'm BART one-point-oh

WTF BART? You make a new website that's awesome and kinda 2.0-ey, and then you start considering hiking fares *again* during high commute times?

Hey! I've got an idea! If the current system is rated to support 500,000 daily riders, and there are only 370,000 at present, and officials are saying that 500k is pushing it why don't we add more trains which lessen wait times and train load concerns?

Yeah! Then BART would be less crowded, have more available trains LIKE OTHER METRO RAIL SYSTEMS.

This just in: don't penalize people for taking public transportation! And if you're going to hike rates, at least offer some kind of value to commuters...yes, it's going to cost a little more, but trains run more frequently and you might actually be able to sit once a month instead of always crushing into the human mass of armpit vapor punctuated with the occasional mystery fart.

Maybe BART should spend less time/money developing the leak-proof coffee cup that doesn't work well, and more time thinking about how to improve operations while providing cost and environmentally conscious riders an alternative to driving.

BART 2.0

I'm digging the new BART site redesign and improved functionality.

They finally made their service consider the fact that some people need to plan a trip from a location close to a BART station to another station or to another nearby location by a station.

That's a lot of "ay-shun", and is total alliteration.
I'm prone to roll employing loquation, and in kindergarten I hated equations.
Missed the Cuban missile crisis and threats of nuclear obliteration.
Before I handle food, I conduct a thorough ablution.
Sarah Palin promotes theory of creation, while abstinence didn't deter her younger generation from fornication...

I digress....where was I?

Before, a site user had to copy and paste address information to find the nearest station, then go through another step of selection that station and the other end point, which was a total pain in the 'a'.

Now when I want to find out the closest station and route to the new California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park, while also planning my trip itinerary from my starting BART station to the closest station near the Academy, I can do it all in one step!







They also have an embedded quick planner widget now.



Everything's coming up Milhouse.

I was looking forward to Mahalo on Aloha via BART

Getting on the train today I see that BART is having a survey across its station network, in order to poll riders to see what they think: do they like stinky cloth covered seats, or vomit-slicked plastic seats?

Regardless of the response, riders will be entered into a prize giveaway contest, in which the grand prize is an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii...via Aloha Airlines. Thankfully, they've updated potential survey participants with the unfortunate news about Aloha's demise.

I hope Hawaii continues to be money-maker state, else I could see the Dubya admin having to mortgage it to the Chinese to pay for our highly questionable and seemingly neverending war on terror. Good thing we found Saddam because...um...ahh...wait...why was it so important?

Hoping for Hobbit not vomit

It took over a year to get all the litigation issues worked out, but Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh are again associated with Tolkien's, 'The Hobbit'...except he's not directing it would seem. He's in the Producer's seat...hmmm. This movie could very well sucketh...having Steven Spielberg produce this year's 'Transformers' helmed by Michael Bay's just barely made it better than his earlier flotsam, 'Pearl Harbor'.

Who knows. It could not suck. I'm betting on the Jackson for making it happen. Maybe they want him in the producer's seat since he made all three of the Lord of the Rings films in concurrent production, thereby saving buttloads of scrill. Who's going to direct? Hmm...there were some rumors that Sam Raimi would take the reigns. Could be good. Could be. Then again, it could stink like that pile of vomit I saw in the BART station last night.

24 hours between trains during Winter

Wet weather seems to bring out different behavior on BART.

The train this morning was pretty full. More people want the safety and sanity of transportation that runs on rails and isn't prone to careless brakers or lane-changers. I'm standing in the middle of the aisle, reading Fahrenheit 451, when this gentlemen gets on board and stands RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

Now the train isn't that full...not the full that the after work rush gets where everyone is packed like sardines and you can't help but be all up in someone's space.

No. This morning's train was moderately full, but this guy decided that he needed to brace himself against me. I know what you're thinking...he wasn't getting overly friendly...he was, for some reason, dead set against not moving from his spot and didn't mind if his shoe soles were nestled up on mine. Of course, he wanted to rub elbows as well...just to let me know that he cared. I didn't have much room, to reposition, and even if I did, I find it rude that some people get in your space in order to attempt to claim it. So I kept elbowing back (this is all very childish I know), and eventually he calmed down a little.

I kept thinking...what if this is all a set up and this guy's trying to get on peoplebehavingbadly.com or something. He was definitely on par with the elevator lady.

I kept kicking myself for not having this clever video device my sister showed me...I'd have filmed the whole thing and put it up on youtube. Unfortunately, all I have are his bad manners to remember...and some slight indentations on the side of my shoe.

The funny thing is...well not so much funny...was that almost 24 hours previously, I was at 12th Street waiting to get on and notice this dude slumped over on the brick stairwell rail. Not too remarkable. Then I noticed the sharp, tangy smell of partially digested food and see that homeboy had just booted his sauce onto the platform. It looked pretty fresh too. Chunky in the right places, and thin and runny in the others. Well, if I'd had the proper video equipment you'd be able to participate in that lovely slice of citizen journalism.

BART just seems to be so much more interesting during Winter...especially closer to the holiday weeks. I guess it's because of Christmachannukwanzaa, and of course, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.

Harder Better Faster Sleeper

I need sleep like Kenny Rogers needed Dolly Parton for 'Islands in the Stream'.

Like Burt Reynolds needed Lori Anderson.

Like Oates needed Hall.

Like Michael Jackson needed Bubbles.

Notice the 80s-enhanced comparisons? More on that later...

Sleep. UC Berkeley just finished a study on sleep deprivation. The data suggests that people who don't get enough sleep can suffer various degrees of emotional imbalance.

"It could even help explain road rage, said Matthew Walker, director of UC Berkeley's Sleep and Neuroimaging Laboratory and senior author of the study, which was coordinated with researchers from Harvard University.

"One of the functions of sleep is to reset and replenish the emotional integrity of our brain circuits so we can approach the day's emotional challenges in appropriate ways," Walker said. "If you don't get a good night's sleep, you'll be making irrational choices.

In the UC Berkeley study of 26 young adults, half of the subjects were kept awake for 35 hours straight and the other half were allowed a normal night's sleep in that same time period. Then all of the subjects were hooked up to an MRI and shown a series of images, some of them disturbing pictures of graphic violence or gory injuries. Researchers monitored what happened in their brains as each image was shown.

When shown the disturbing images, the sleep-deprived subjects had a significant jump in activity in the amygdala, the section of the brain that puts the body on alert to protect itself. At the same time, activity slowed down in the prefrontal cortex, which controls logical reasoning.

Subjects who had gotten a full night of sleep showed normal brain activity.

What this means for most people is that a sleepless night can cause them to overreact to emotional challenges that they would otherwise be able to tolerate with no trouble, Walker said."

This is sooo true for me. If I don't get enough sleep, I become a cranky, nasty, and volatile person. I'm a racecar running in the red, and all I'm saying is that it's not good to have a racecar in the red. I eat sleep. It's my dessert.

I can go for a couple days with a subpar amount of sleep, but if I don't catch up on the third day, I will be evil incarnate. I will intentionally break unopened rose blooms in my neighbor's yard before I leave for work. I will push someone out of the BART train as the doors are closing so they have to wait for the next train. I will fart on other BART patrons and then walk around, further dispersing the stank. Industry insiders call this move 'crop-dusting'. Once I get to work, I will need to drink a carafe of coffee to be mildly abrasive. I'll sit down at my desk, and ignore emails. Instead, I'll register those colleagues for sweepstakes on sites that vomit spam uncontrollably. At lunch, I'll go outside and kick pigeons. Pray I am not in your midday meeting. I'll doodle to keep from launching spitballs on the whiteboard as you draw out some fantastic metadata management model in which global changes can be effected across hierarchies in multiple parent-children structures. Then I will go home, and be a pleasant person because I know that while I'm tired, at least I can be tired in shorts and a tank-top and play with my son and wash dishes used to serve my wife's savory and delicious meal before I lose consciousness at 8:30pm.

This being said, let's sleep on this: the 80s are back.

On my way to work this morning I listened to the new Kanye West album, Graduation Day, which bleeds Al Pacino-Scarface synth undertones. Then I go on the train, and saw this woman dress like Pat Benatar and sporting the Farrah Fawcett feather hair-do. It wasn't Oct 31. This wasn't a costume. She was going to work. She was making a fashion statement. She was telling everyone on that car that the 80s are back, and she was ready for them.

Maybe Kanye will do an 'Islands in the Stream' remix...meanwhile, check out 'Stronger' for more interpolation on 80s flavor (sampled Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk).

Get involved in Bay Area Barack Obama Presidential campaigns

My friend Will Butkus is helping the Barack Obama Presidential Campaign organize two volunteer meetings this Sunday March 11th in Oakland and San Francisco. For more info check out http://www.barackobama.com/.

These Organizational Meetings are a "come one, come all" opportunity for people to get involved in the Obama Campaign. Will has asked that everyone spread the word.

#1. Oakland Obama Organizational Meeting
12:30 PM, Sunday, March 11
Oakland Marriott Hotel Calvin Simmons Room 1001 Broadway Oakland, CA
Cross street: 10th and 11th Street
Note: 12th Street BART Station is closest

#2. San Francisco Obama Organizational Meeting
4 PM, Sunday, March 11
Delancey Street Foundation Town Hall 600 Embarcadero Street San Francisco, CA
Cross street: Brannon
Note: Embarcadero BART Station is closest

There's also an Obama Oakland Rally on March 17th. This rally will take place in the afternoon at a site TBD in Oakland. Please call Will or send him an email if you have any questions.

Will Butkus
Mobile (202) 468-1000
willbutkus@yahoo.com

The Colour out of Space...or...the smell on BART

The whole "Colour" reference (in case you don't know) is from an H.P. Lovecraft story. Basically, the object from space drained life from all around it in addition to causing people to lose their minds.

That's kind of what happened on BART this morning.

I don't know what it is about winter, but sometimes if it's damp in a train and the heater is blaring it facilitates the production of a considerably horrible body odor. I call it: ass-foot. It's like someone took off his/her sock and waved funky old Dorito cheese foot stank into the air. Then someone completes the duet by unleashing last night's dinner and drinkfest vapors via a butt delivery vector. This all happens at least a few stops before yours. People from the previous stops have time to get comfortable, stretch, wave a stank wand and relax their o-rings in order to rip hot ass-trash bombs into the seats.

When the train stops at your station and the doors open, you can't wait to get on because it's cold. Then the smell assaults you. Rather, this invisble stink beast shoves its putrid hands up your nose. There are 2 year old ass boogers, toe jam, and other unmentionables that would show up under a black light under the fingernails of this creature.

You just have to take it. Sit down. Hold your breath for 20 minutes. Know that the smell is permeating your clothes, your hair...your SOUL. It's rancid. You have to shower and perform an exorcism on yourself when you get to work.

Anyway, that's kinda what it was like on the train this morning.