What's next

I'm still reeling from the fact that there was no change in the tumor's involvement with the blood vessels. I'm not quite sure how to feel about this all. I'm angry and frustrated for sure. I don't want to wait 3 months to see what, if anything, has changed. I'm going to see if there are other more aggressive chemotherapies I can try, or at least something that's going to react more significantly with the cancer than what I'm on.

There's apparently a service that screens blood from cancer patients, and uses the samples to compare the cancerous cells with chemotherapy drugs in order to determine if there are some that are more reactive, that is, cause cancer cell death than others. The nature of cancer, especially pancreatic, is that everyone's cancer is different, and some treatments might not work as well as others. This service is a bit costly and isn't covered by insurance, but if this could help determine a more effective chemotherapy treatment and cause the tumor to shrink it'll be worth it. I haven't committed to it yet. I still have to have more conversations with both my medical and radiology oncologists.

The other night my oldest said if he had a wish he'd wish for lots of money and a big house, then quickly followed it up with wishing that I would never be sick again. I was floored because of all the things a 7 year old could think of to wish for, he made an unselfish one for his old man to get better. I'm pissed that my kids have to go through this with me, but happy to have their love and wishes during these tough times.