Autobots...roll out!

Childhood memories are the thick viscous goo that Hollywood film makers love to rub on their hairy flabby bodies. The goo is then squeegeed off, bottled, shaken and released inside movie theaters with explosive cheap champagne effervescence all over the silver screen where it stays for the summer and is finally sandblasted off for the next round of hairball gelatinous entertainment.

Ahem...

So it goes without saying that this summer's Transformers movie will prove to be one of the biggest hair boogers flicked at audiences in 2007. Merchandising efforts are ramping up.

Bumblebee, the tiny Autobot who looked like a VW Bug is now the new Camaro. In fact, most of the vehicles in the film are GM. The toy version costs $90, and is aimed at consumers 5 and up.

Optimus Prime now has red heartland flames burning back from his faux-Kenworth grill, and costs $40. We don't yet know what GM is cooking up for Prime.All this product placement for GM makes me wonder if corporations will become further embedded into entertainment, bankrolling movies in exchange for integrating brand name awareness. Tom Hanks' Cast Away is a good example. Did FedEx subsidize Hanks' salary? Did GM nuzzle its fat tanks against Exec Producer Steven Spielberg's thigh? Are we going to be luxuriated in the motion picture version of the Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour? Oh please God, yes.