Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Martha's Prison Roast and Kramer's Hate

So I'm making a prime rib for the Thanksgiving holiday. There will be a small army of family attending, and I'm doing the prep work early. The rib that I picked up with my Pops-inlaw is ginormous. Seven ribs. 20 pounds. Longer than my child.

It is a cut of beef to respect, and I find that I must remain vigilant when I'm around it, as I fear it's awesome quantity of juicy, artery-clogging, red meat sinful goodness.

I've found a suberb recipe from...Martha Stewart (check it out on Prime Rib 101.) I figure a refined and blueblood tenured socialite who can go to prison and stroll home in a shawl knitted by her cellmate, Chick, is the person I need to confer with in order to produce a quality meal.

This one I'm cooking shortrib side down, and all the wonderful flavor crystals are going to carmelize with the fatty richness reminiscent of Karl Rove's hefty backside, which he keeps hidden in order to hide his forked tail, except when he's home with his evil brood - he wears nothing but a jerkin and clops around his sulpher-incensed abode and tramples little kittens with his cloven hooves.

Needless to say, it's going to be a wonderful roast. I'm accompanying the meat with, per Martha's suggestion, Yorkshire pudding. There will be a cacaphony of suffering arteries on Thanksgiving.

Speaking of which - what am I thankful for? My wife and son, family, friends, the fact that the evil empire in D.C. will shortly be swept away.

Also...what the hell was Kramer doing? Did he spend time getting crowd control lessons from Mel Gibson? What idiot responds to people by launching into a racist tirade? I'm a big fan of raunchy, satirical, offensive, and obscene humor just like any American, however Crazy Mike really went off the deep end here. Check out the video, people. Another thing to be thankful for: the omniscient cameras in today's society will eventually force everyone to become more socially responsible, for the simple fact that someone will be watching your every move...

1 comment:

Seogwon said...

http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/standing-rib-roast-of-beef-aidells

I've tried this recipe in the past from Bruce Aidells (of sausage fame). A little more of a kick with the Dijon mustard and garlic added.