OJ - How I Almost Did It But Didn't But Here's How I Would

You've probably heard about OJ's book and TV onslaught that was recently cancelled by FOX because of the backlash from...oh...um...I think 'everyone' is a word that nicely sums it up. In case you haven't heard about the deal, OJ was releasing a novel that supposedly laid out how he would have done the killings, had he actually committed them. The release was supposed to be followed by plugs on FOX.

When initially hearing about this shocking travesty of anything remotely resembling human goodness and decency, peripherally I couldn't help but wonder what the title would look like. I kept thinking of the memoir, How I Did It, by Frederick Frankenstein's grandfather, in Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" film.

Needless to say, OJ recently commented on the book stating that "...he did the controversial 'If I Did It' book for only one reason — personal profit, acknowledging that any financial gain was 'blood money.'" That's awesome. The blood money was supposed to go to his kids. That's even more awesome - he's such a good dad, aside from the hacking and slashing (for which he was exonerated in a court of law, of course.)

Personally, I think both OJ and MJ have been getting an unfair shake in the media, and I think they should pool their collective resources. OJ can move in with MJ in Bahrain, where scientists are feverishly working on creating a pair of eyeglasses that will allow MJ's sham girlfriends to resemble Emmanuelle Lewis aka Webster, and OJ can parlay his stabby interests into supporting MJ's efforts of assisting the Emir in creating theme parks. I was thinking something similar to a themed region in a Disney park, OJ could have something like "Stabtown" or "Unnecessary Arterial Bleeding-Town." MJ would no doubt have "Bubblesville" and all the beverages would consist of "Jesus-juice" and would be served in phallus-shaped glasses. Awesome.